*taps microphone*

...is this thing on??!

Good to be back. I could use a good ramble or few or as many as I choose.

Thank God for disabled cell phones...Had it not been for that miracle, this post doesn't get composed. Shout out to the good folks at Sprint.

(.........................bytheway...whatshouldmynextphonebe??imeeeeean.......ahhfuggit...)

With a waterfall of inspiration, and a pinch of nostalgia setting in,I bring to you my latest...with quite honestly isn't much to discuss, I'm just happy to be here writing this in hopes that you can almost hear my voice in your head saying it to you (yeah I really thought that out).

I should be sleep, but I don't like forgotten thoughts...(this "Superheroes" documentary on HBO is distracting as FCUK right now)my mind is going a million miles an hour.

I'm contradicting myself. I'm swallowing pride...currently. Having your chin fall to the cement in disbelief and debilitating shock in any circumstance would bring the strongest man to his knees. Time is passing me by, life is in the left lane pushin 90 and I'm stuck in my foolish ways, tryna hang on to college days that I'll never see again. Have you ever taught new tricks to a dog? Well, Moses parted the Red Sea, so I have that on my side at least. Its been time for a change, though...I'm being hella complacent and it's beginning to show the slow effects of my ways.

I hope to see more of you, and I hope you've forgiven me for the hiatus...I've missed you all. I'm back.

Fork in the road.

As blessed as I am to be in my current situation, especially in comparison to where I was this time last year, I have no reason to complain. It's selfish of me to even have these unholy thoughts...But as long as I am here, I think I will continue to have this perfect storm of pinned up rage and frustration in my system. I can help it, it meaning my internalized pressure, but I hate feeling like I am working to pay someone else. I hate working "on the clock" so to speak. I don't want anyone telling me when to work and how to do it. I want ultimate independence in all aspects of my life (which could be the underlying reason as to why I am single) and I want to be an asset to my friends. Virginia is starting to take its toll on me. It's taxing my freedom and my anonymity...sometimes, you just wanna hang out where no one knows your name.

I guess you can say I'm a bit of a loner, to a certain point.
I like what I like, and I want what I want...when, is the question that continues to bounce around aimlessly against the walls in my head. I hate it.


But I love this song. Music keeps me sane.

ITS A CYCLE.

If only it were that simple.
It boils down to personalities, tolerance and patience.
Solely, pussy won't keep a dude around, good dick will only secure your spot on a roster...
Good cookin will keep us around, but it won't keep us faithful..

I know mad joints who can cook, well, and they're single (and they appear to be miserable as well smh)

I don't know if a combination of these things will ensure a steady, healthy and happy union............options can be used for good and bad. If you are able to offer all three to a man/woman and look halfway decent, then finding a significant other shouldn't be an issue -- HOWEVER.......................if every man/woman knows thats all it takes, then you must differentiate and be innovative in your pursuit of your prey. Being predictable fucks most people up and they don't even know it.

Don't be tryna get chose if you have more bodies than the Detroit morgue.
If you lead a double life, that's fine, just dont be tryna get chose. That's wack.
If you're gonna have a roster, get the Carfax...girls talk to each other, and so do guys *bomb dropped lol*

At the end of the day, you know what you want, and you know what you're willing to sacrifice in order to get him/her. Don't be unreal, an expect your prospective other half not to reciprocate...you get what you give. Clean your house first though, before tryna buy more land. Align your priorities, then make a sound decision.

I'm no therapist. I observe tweets of my peers, and this is what I came up with...right or wrong, for better or worse.

***THIS IS NOT PART 2 FROM MY PREVIOUS POST***

Classic Devin The Dude btw...

For those of you who think I am without flaw or error...I kinda am, lol...your assumption has just been validated.

JOKING.

Seriously though...I have a problem, Houston...
This dilemma of mine has been racking my brain off & on for years and I have not been able to shake it, nor do I want to. Playing with this open flame will eventually get me burned in the worst possible way if I can't put the fire out, but I must say...my time is slowly fading, and my window of opportunity is closing -- almost unnoticeable.

And I'm a bit of a pyromaniac, btw...metaphorically and literally.

This has been off & on for about...10 years...picked up a lot more once I got to college, and now that we are graduated, the table has been set and dinner has been served...but something in my head keeps telling me not to pick up the utensils........................and it is annoying as hell.

You ever feel like making a move, but prior to...double-checking and making sure the time is right, and the time just never seems to be like the right time??

I'm not afraid of error. You learn from it...but in this case, I am terrified.

I'm so paranoid about fuckin it up. Aside from that, I'm my worst enemy, and my biggest critic. Has a lot to do with what's there for me to offer up. Measuring up to those around me. Competition (in my mind)...I feel I'm competing against everyone. It keeps me hungry...but it also forces me to have to constantly reevaluate my position........which leads to me questioning it in the first place, which leads to indecisiveness.

Ok, I have a confession.



But I will discuss that in the next post. Consider this like, the intro.

Enjoy the tunes.

Who knows?

Let's see...

I want to be a forensic-scientist who also has his own law practice, sport representation firm, who trains people who are trying to get (back) in shape, mentors inner-city youth in my own youth center the size of Wal-Mart...

It can be done.

I'd also like to backpack through Eurasia (excluding Eastern Europe and the middle-east), swim with Great White Sharks (I believe in facing your fears), have sex with one of my mane celebrity crushes...I wanna complete a triathlon, have a threesome with two women while on vacation...shit, I wanna join the mile-high club lol...

Doable...

I'd like to go on a missionary trip to a third-world country and tell them about Jesus. I plan on going to every Dallas Cowboys game in a season, one day. I'd like to visit Auschwitz. I want to go to the World Cup. I also want to write a script/screenplay for a movie...

Quite possible.

I also wanna debate Skip Bayless on First & 10. I need to see if Phrat can put in a word for me.

In the works.

I hope I didn't bore you...
Had to take a break from talking about relations, women, my past, yadda yadda yadda...


You've been such a good listener...reward yourself.
Quincy Jones is dope.

Virtuous.

vir·tu·ous
   /ˈvɜrtʃuəs/ Show Spelled[vur-choo-uhs] Show IPA
–adjective
1. conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright: Lead a virtuous life.

I think I have found the answer to my problems. And if I ever had a type, she would have to encompass all that is noble, just, and VIRTUOUS.

"...for her price is far above rubies..." as the Good Book says.
As stated here... http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=KJV

I guess everyone can have their own definition of a "virtuous woman". I am formulating my own, daily >>> Sade's mystique. Phyllis Hyman's voice. Angela Davis' boldness. Nikki Giovanni's intellect. Maya Angelou's scholarly prowess. A potent, lethal injection of my own sports IQ.................and Janet Jackson's body.

Top that (I like to dream too).
-------------------------------

Change of pace...
I don't know so much about women who worship their man, but let's be real for a second...whoever is behind @WorshipUrMan on Twitter speaks some truth in each of her tweets. Objections?? Example(s)...

"He has to be understanding for you but not vice versa? #worshipurman"
"Women, there's no need for repeating they heard you the first time! #worshipurman"
"Ladies its not hard to shut up and accept when your man is telling you when you're wrong. #worshipurman"
"How can he love you if you don't love yourself? An insecure woman does not sit well with a man so STOP! #worshipurman"

I do not wanna poison your thoughts, ladies, with her tweets, but I invite you to follow her...reverse the genders, and think about it...is that not what women want to an extent? If not your feet rubbed, its your bills to be paid...if not your bills paid, its expensive dinners and mushy ass dates that show you that we care, and so on and so forth. If anything, she is only reciprocating and reiterating what SHOULD already be understood. Is some of it bogus??? Probably...you don't have to give me the tops if the Bulls win lol (but if the Cowboys win the Super Bowl, on your knees LOL)...If their was ever a double standard in the vast world of double-standards as it relates to men/women relations, THIS IS IT.

What's a Queen without her King?? WORSHIP. YOUR. MAN.
You can at least make sure we have a pillow under our feet and a cold beef while we watch the big game...too much to ask?
------------------------------

If I ever loved a woman as much as I love Sade, Phyllis Hyman, it would be you.
In fact, it is you. God rest your soul, and meet me at Heaven's gate.

Please listen.