Throwing Stones

Raise your hand if you knew the creator of The Wire was a white guy...........right. What's even more mind-blowing is that this is the first time I've watched this series in its entirety. Pretty dope to say the last. As much as I hate to see black people perpetuate stereotypes, it provides a window into lives of those right in our cities & towns. The stigmas of violence, drug abuse, immorality...commonplace for a large portion of our community. Detroit went filed for Chapter 9 today. A city that birthed GM and Motown, down the pooper. That city mirrors a wasteland. A barren tundra of despair and destitute and void citizens..a modern day Gotham City sans Bruce. A family mourns the loss of their son at the hands of a man who grabbed the law by the hair & collar, left to interpret it the best way he saw fit...bailed out by Conservative media and coloreds who seem numb and lacking sympathy towards the victim, his family and loved ones. Trayvon & Darius in very identical situations, both unarmed, posing no life threat, slain. Their lives in a most untimely and lackluster manner snatched from their bodies in an instant. Who is protected under this law we abide by? If I were a cop, I'd definitely be McNulty. He's got the charisma of a pimp and the confident resolve & calmness of Phil Ivey. A son didnt make it home today to rummage through the fridge and leave his dirty shoes & socks all over the house. A young man never made it back home to finish his saved campaign of Black Ops he'd been taking a break from in order to court a young lady. A brother's life was cut short before seeing his sister off to work, dropping her off at her job on the way to the gym for some run to 16 with friends. It's not just about who's lives are publicized in the media, creating polarizing views and hateful words to be thrown back & forth like hand-piles of Easy Mac and stuffing. Although the evidence of racial profiling is quite clear, these victims also represent the hundreds and thousands of children who are the victims of rape, abuse, neglect, trafficking, addiction, malnutrition, bullying and ultimately violence everyday. We don't have enough digitized film and RAM to illustrate the horror that adolescents are faced with today. Trayvon Martin is only a microcosm of the harsh reality youths are faced with and have to endure everyday. The hearts and minds of all of us must change. I suppose that's more of the reason why I dedicate myself to service everyday. Anyone telling you that they're in it for financial gain is a crook pimping the system. Aint no real money in nonprofits until you get to 'Manager of' this or Director, CEO, COO, whatever...But a life driven by personal & financial gain is a life lacking substance, apathy and compassion for the lives of others. I've had opportunities and lessons learned in my life over the years that I will forever be grateful for. But the reality is that right up Jefferson, is a community of people who lack the resources & capital available to take advantage of such opportunity. And so, I serve. Outside of that, I love interacting with people who I don't already know, for those that I do know by now are pretty boring and suck the life out of me (joking). To conclude, there are ways to enact change and to stir up emotion in others for the greater good without giving way to rioting, looting and more waves of senseless violence. Trayvon & Darius are gone and they aint comin back...but the real crime is committed by us who sit by allowing for precious time to through the cracks while letting the lives of these young men and the myriad of victimized youths' lives be lost in vain. Larry Elder, author, radio host and a successful, well-spoken & opinionated public figure currently living in South Central Los Angeles appeared on Piers Morgan the other night, discussing the ramifications of the Trayvon Martin verdict. His views are echoed by a growing number of African-Americans as well (I follow @GOPBlackChick on Twitter and she is a handful). Interesting to state the very least. But if you are in opposition of any of their views, what are you doing to create an opposite force of actions and views?

HE.O.E.N.O., pt. 1 (pause)

Why, oh why...did I swig that Zzzquil before I just had this awesome idea in my head to write about? I thought only Kappas were conceited an so obsessed with their makeup, as far as guys are concerned...but my dude Ant take thee cake and I do not have enough energy to write about it so ima chill. im searchin online for random items an things i know she like til i passout anyway so...oh, someone remind me that my topic is centered around Ant's gathering at his crib, and his views towards women an relationships. poor fella. i feel like he be voguing in private when no one's around, and you know what they say bout how you act when no one's watchin. smh. no tunes tonight. thats how tired i am. what a let down.

hope

Learn to focus your thoughts and energy on whatever helps you to prosper, be happy and charged to love. Just now unwinding...had a long, monotonous, drag-out of a day. But thats another thing I need to improve upon and thats to not be so easily bothered by what I can't control...I need not be so annoyed by things, period. Working on that...I attempted to work on fine-tuning that this time last year, but I was too focused on other irrelevant things. I loved going to church, but hated the fact that I only had a 2-3 shirt rotation and no kicks. The same worn, tattered jeans (that i have grown to be very attached to even though ive semi-retired them)... Trippy. Trivial pursuit of such items doesnt phase me anymore, but ive been conditioned to go without those items. I do like shoes and things of that nature, but it doesnt consume me to go out an get it or bog me down when I cant afford it. I was in the best shape of my life last summer, but I also wasnt goin out every weekend, or at all for that matter, and in order for me to function I obsessed over the gym. Envy, or avoiding it rather, will have you doing some shit you wouldnt normally do if you had it all. Yep, that was me last July...motivated by self-improvement, shackled by the clutches of Netflix, ashamed at the moth-consumed couture in my closet and tryna find my way. Butt hurt. lol. Its always been a gift (or a defense mechanism) to laugh at the randomness of life. It helped me cope with my reality. Still does. Additionally, I see the potential in myself and others, regardless of what negativity surrounds me or them, and that is why I continue to scratch & claw away out of my mind's coffin, when everything else around me is falling apart. Our lives, you & I, would make for good conversation down the road too...clinging on to what can be made of our lives and manifesting it so it'll become what is. Gotta start somewhere.

Cheesy Mackin

Back like I never left. I have truly missed thee and I should be stoned for leaving you all in the dust. My mind was on 101 different things between now and last July... 358 days ago I was in a very dark place, kinda. To illustrate, I was tightroping across the James River during a hurricane, in the void of empty darkness, blindfolded, tryna find my way. It hasnt all been bad, but I realized later than sooner that I was surely being tested, wrestling with familiar demons, harboring a medicine ball of emotions...it was a delicate time for me. I couldnt move, like being buried alive; a prisoner in your own crib. Being questioned and judged for every move I made (or didnt make). You ever have a conversation with someone and they ask you how you're doing and you get choked up to answer, wishing you had stopped early on the yellow light instead of zipping through the intersection? everything is connected -- slow down at the yellow light, prolong your trip to the gas station, thusly avoiding you friend from middle school who's "well off" and subliminally judging your feeble life, saving you the embarrassment of having to answer the question. As difficult it was for me to breathe, I learned a lot about myself. What I could withstand...struggle has truly sharpened my logic and reasoning. I'd say for the best, although some of my habits have had a tendency to pop up like hives. I dont wanna share too much of my life in one big post, but rather use this as a springboard to discuss the different phases of my life over the past year...everything I have failed at, accomplished...the people Ive encountered, situations endured...my life isnt THAT entertaining, but I hope to paint you all a vivid picture of it anyway. I'll start from a year ago and I shall bring it back to the present, starting tomorrow. I had ZERO intent on blogging, period...let along at 12:30 in the morning...and I can't find my Zzzquil (not to be confused with Nyquil) so I'ma take this opportunity to once again, ask you, the reader, to forgive me for my disappearance and thanks for keepin it funky witcha boy. All I needed was a lil push to get this blog back up & running and bygolly I got it tonight from a most unlikely source at a most unlikely time (I was playing COD)...The best things and people tend to fall right in your lap when you least expect it to happen.