Starting Over

I don't remember exactly where I was in life at the time of my last post, but I assure you that I have drastically changed. I can tell you for a fact that my life was spiraling downward and quite honestly, up until a few months ago, life was very murky for me; very gray and vast like standing on the beach trying to take in the enormity of an ocean's coastline, not knowing what was on the other side. In all of the confusion and the maddening insecurity of life that suffocated me, I've loved every minute of it. Call it having a high threshold for pain & suffering. In life, there's always victory in defeat if you're able to look yourself in the mirror and accept the right and wrong of your day-to-day and maintain your integrity. In my lowest of points while living here in Houston, I felt reborn. In the middle of my dismay and uncertainty I've never felt so alive. Houston will do that to you; you've really got no choice but to find your way, or be swept away by the life's unpredictable current into obscurity. The life I live now was not made without experiencing the pressure of making the right and wrong decisions (and living with them daily), but in each instance I was taught valuable lessons that I otherwise would've never experienced in the mundane comfort of Hampton Roads, Virginia. Perspective is as valuable in life as a professional certification or a diploma. It allows for you to gain insight while reflecting on the eminent possibility of your own destiny based on calculated risks and actions taken. I've added unquestionable mettle and value to my life and I will continue creating my masterpiece. I am motivated by the tragedies of Mike Brown and Eric Garner just as much as I can feel the fire from the flames of misfortune I have created and have since put out...not to compare my shortcomings to deaths fueled by hate, but I use the totality of the aforementioned occurrences as learning points. In other words, the homework I assign myself doesn't have a due date or grade, but ultimately reflects in the outcomes in my life that I can manipulate. What I was able to embrace and discover was that I was comfortable in my own unfamiliarity. I hated the comfort of the same, aimless routine the being home offered and the change of pace I sought, the responsibility that came with that adjustment is exactly what I needed. The impromptu transition from a melancholy hometown robot to the new kid in the classroom was Vincent Vega jabbing the adrenaline needle into my heart, waking me up out of my coma and thrusting me into a brave new world.