I'll let you in on a little secret...I have the hardest times trying to START my blog-posts. So hard that sometimes I just postpone a potential post for a rainy day and let NCAA '11 consume my free time. Yes, I've got to do better. I'm like 3 posts behind schedule.
Are you not entertained?? lol...
And yes, they all coordinate with each other...I'm sure you knew that, even while going through your drought.
One of my old flames got engaged today. Good for her. She tried her best to make an honest man outta me but, I just wasn't trying to hear it at the time. I was young, she was a college-grad. She was my summer sugar momma. If only she could've waited a month or two, I might have given a thought to slowin down but...too much, too soon. she faded away like the rest of em. happy for her though. We played doctor an everything. Even threw on the white-coat for me. Role-playing was her thing. she was dwight howard-esque...good times. lol.
A friend of mine & I went to go get some grub today. We had fun. Very subtle. Nothing that would've overstepped any boundaries, but I kind of knew what it was already hittin for...she likes me. Honestly, shes cool. Too young for me, but mature for her age. But that's always how people present themselves -- disciplined, contrite, logical, with experience, with common sense and couth...but when the rubber meets the road, do you really know what you're getting into when gettin in deep with a chick( or guy, ladies)? I found myself asking myself this question, more than once, in regard to my friend. i really wish I could level with her, but I know she'll take it the wrong way. maybe its not worth the trouble of trying to let get her to understand where I'm coming from, but I don't like feeling like i have to burn a bridge to get my point across. However, she is shooting herself in the foot and blowing over any chance she could have had...I can't do over-bearing females.
----
On another hand, I've found someone I like. I assure you, reader, that I am not full-steam ahead with my feelings, nor am I trying to pursue anything real serious right now..........................right now. We share a few jokes daily, we make each other laugh. A few smart comments here & there...we talk on certain topics often, we discuss others also. She's well-versed, fun-loving (all of which I am assuming, based merely off of conversation) and really has a lot going for her...
All of that said...I mean...having all of that is as hard as obtaining your Bachelor's, nowadays. Sounds harsh, but I've been fooled more than once...hate for her to have to be penalized for the things of my past but, I'm just the finished product of my experiences...I guess that's life. Nevertheless, she is fully aware of where I stand, and how i feel...we share similar goals. The interest to go further is definitely there. The will to pursue, however, isn't. My recent history in dealing with relationships has left me on the outside looking in, and truly for once I am going to just live my life the way i see fit. i believe that this only the beginning of a very good friendship, for starters, so I have no worries. Not really trying to see what she has to hide (if anything), just tryin to see what she's all about. I can do that and still have a genuine interest in us being cool...there's no party foul for that is there?
I just have business to tend to first. that's all. and that business has to do with spoiling myself *shrug* I deserve this shit. Be patient with me for a lil bit.
I had a lengthy discussion with one of my best friends this past week. Said she questions my taste in women and questions what I look for.....REALLY look for in a female. I can't blame her for thinkin that...it's not like I was proving her theory to be true over, and over, an over again -__________- ...
-----------------
Because of my sharp attention to detail within conversation and what's said...I find myself perplexed and kind of at my wit's end. I don't really know how to take the things I see before me, but I know how I want to be able to take what I read. I've been wrong before though, and I could very well be wrong now. the coincidences are almost too parallel. But I must also comment on how intrigued I am by a few things. However, one of the things that remains an enigma for me is like..............well, idk. I guess that's just it. cant seem to put a finger on how to say what's entirely on my mind. you know, you notice things. You see things that make you wonder 'what if' and 'why not' and try to make sense of it, but therein lies the riddle...
----------
I would just like to kick my feet up on my mahogany desk rockin my Jordan XIs, listenin to Sade and hit the bowl. I really don't ask much. I really need to be my own boss on some private jet shit, before retirement. As long as someone else is issuing my check to me, I'll never be a BOSS.
I can't live like that my whole life.
The song's for your listening pleasure...listen. It's the Dude...Peace.
You're getting better with your lead ins!
ReplyDelete